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Following are a few excerpts from letters Vatsala and Ehud exchanged during their year of courtship. Page 57
Dear Ehud, Namaste. Since I began trying to locate and meet a person with a view to marriage, I have been observing married people both old and young. What makes them click? Do they enjoy or just tolerate each other? Is there any spark of passion and romance alive in their physical relationship? Do they exist together simply because they have no means of getting away? Are they compatible in terms of physical and mental makeup, energy, and presentation? Do they clash often and try proving their supremacy? Who wears the trousers at home-the man or the wife? How does/do their child/children influence them? Which spouse is competing with the child? Is there any indication of friendship, simple humanly love and affection between them, or is the only thing that ever brings them close an intense physical urge felt only once in a while? Is their relationship healthy and deep? Are they cold and dying? Are they warm and alive? ... To help myself, I have been thinking about some dos and don’ts. I am
practicing them in my day-to-day interactions with people. I intend to
practice them in my relationship with my spouse because I want my marriage
to be secure, solid, and full of peace and love, and I want above everything
for my would-be spouse to be happy and at peace.
________________________________________________________ From Ehud to Vatsala; August 7, 1995 Dear Vatsala, The air is beginning to cool, and the last rays of the sun are moving through the canopy of trees as we gallop past the meadows and streams of North Hollow. I’m riding Willow, a seven-year-old Arabian that has come to me untrained and inexperienced. She shies at the slightest provocation: a log on the ground, a change in the contour of the land, a sudden movement by a rabbit or squirrel... However, I do want to put your mind at ease about the influence of astrology on my life. The stars impel-they don’t compel. When we breathe our first breath, we draw in the influences of the moment and fix our natal picture. However, it is my view that it is up to us to make the most of the pluses and minuses, the good and the bad, of our birth moment. The horoscope is a road map, indicating what we may expect on the journey. It is not, however, the journey itself. I’m going to ask Dada to look at our compatibility when he visits me. He’s uniquely qualified to do this, as he’s known me for close to 20 years, has married off three daughters, has a thorough knowledge of the occult sciences, as well as the modern sciences, and is a traditional Hindu with a vast experience of the West. We’ll look together at the horoscopes and our compatibility in an effort to see the problems and the strengths of an alliance. But I would never ever leave a matter of such great importance to only one of numerous considerations that would inform a decision of such magnitude. Our horoscopes are just one piece of the puzzle that would make up a satisfying, successful, and rewarding marriage... I’m glad to hear that the stars are favoring you in work and your profession. I look forward to seeing their glow reflected in your eyes in October. Until then, I remain, Yours truly, Ehud ______________________________________________________ Page 100
Dear Ehud, (...)At this moment, it is rather difficult for me not to think about the future. Just a couple of minutes ago, I was intensely concentrating at the microscope and going through the slides awaiting my opinion. When finished with this job, I continued to sit where I was, and caught myself unaware, simply staring out through the window. I was watching a man lifting his giggling child high in the air, and his wife admiring her child and her strong husband. The child (8 to 10 months old) had slings attached to both his arms for intravenous lines, and the left side of his scalp was shaven-a tell-tale sign that a neurosurgeon had been scavenging around his brain. The positive side of this picture was that the kid was in the very last phase of his hospital stay, and looked well and ready to go home. Well Ehud, excuse me for sidetracking into the medical history of this kid, which I could not help noticing. The main thing that caught my attention and held it for quite some time was the togetherness and fun this family was sharing despite the gloomy hospital environment. I could not, in my mind, help replacing the man and the woman with you and me, but for the kid I could not imagine a face. Well, it is togetherness that touched me deeply, and I could not help myself saying Yes when my mind asked me, Is this what you are looking forward to in trying to work out a relationship with the man whom you are likely to meet shortly?... Vatsala . . . ______________________________________________________ Page 167
Ehud, Boss, the letters exchanged between us will be more than a foot tall, when piled up... A few years ago, I would have wanted more than being at home, cooking food, making babies, and being a wife to my man. If I had met you then, I would have critically analyzed the package you are offering and said, “Well, thank you, but I am looking for something else.” A few years ago, you too would have been in a different set of circumstances, managing a life, a stressful business, and living through a marriage that shook with every jerk. You wouldn’t have been what you are now like I wouldn’t have been what I am now. Timing is important in life. And every event occurs precisely when it has to. I never regret that I did not meet you earlier. Rather, I am quite happy and thankful to God that I have met you now, and that we have a future together. It is true also that we will be taking on the role of parenting quite late in life-so what? We are both ready and prepared for this, in our minds-and the body simply must obey the commands of the mind... Love, Vatsala
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